i

am not very good with people. i blame the social anxiety disorder or something. or the depression. which, by the by, has decided that this week would be awesome to come back on.

things i am good at:
writing
songwriting
pissing people off accidentally
listening

things i am bad at:
talking
getting girls
keeping girls if i get them
everything

today was a day
tomorrow will also be a day
i'm really hoping it'll be the start of something new
but if i'm optimistic i'll only be disappointed.

her god, goals

i used to not be single. it lasted all of a week or two. but then god came to her in a vision or something and said "woah. no dating for a year." and so here i am. her god is kind of a jerk.

but i am not sure if it's technically a relationship if one of the involved parties never loved the other.

it makes for a fun story though.

"so what has god done for you?"

oh, he caused my lover to leave me.

"umm."

"what do you want to be in five years?"

i dunno. happy, i suppose. that's a good thing to be, isn't it? not that I'm not now, but i'd like it to continue.

needless to say, they did not find me very driven.

i suppose i have more goals.

i'd like to learn how to play modern girl by sleater-kinney on all the involved instruments.

i'd like to not be single anymore too.

i want to see the world.

i want to live.

numb mouth

my mouth is numb. not entirely sure why. should probably stop smoking cooking spices, but eh. as long as it isn't tea. the depression monster has reared its ugly head. unfortunately. sometimes i'm glad it's hard for me to feel any sort of emotion, or else i'd probably be dead, or insane. well. more insane than i am.

i suppose it's my fault, though.

in any case.